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Keep fit!

Hari ni sangat penat! Dari siang td smp ke malam tak berhenti. Kaki pun macam nak tercabut. Menaip pun sambil baring ni. hahaha. Siang tadi ada demonstrating Human Physiology lab. Of Course la berdiri selama 3 jam setengah, round2 meja student. Balik tu prepare barang2 nak masak nasik lemak besok. 20 order. Alhamdulillah. Ayam seme dah siap rempah, tinggal goreng je besok pagi sambil masak nasi. Kul 8 tadi main badminton dengan Zaza. Booked court sejam tapi main sampai sejam setengah! haha. mmg tak perasan masa sebab court badminton yg kami booked tuh seme orang datang main. Team lain bertukar2 orang, kitaorg ni mantain je dua orang. Patut la mcm nak separuh nyawa tadi. haha. tapi kagum jugak la dengan diri sendiri sebab bole main lama mcm tuh. stamina mcm dah ada semula. apa taknya. sejak duduk unilodge ni seme berjalan kaki. pi city beli groceries memasak semua. kdg2 beg penuh berkilo2 ayam, beras, minyak etc. blom kira beg jinjit lagi. memang aku rasa pasni akan berketul2 muscle sebab selalu angkat berat. haha. Tournament hari ahad ni. haha. praktisnya baru sekali. ala, saja suka2 masuk. tak menang pun takpe, janji dapat main.

Tgh hari tadi ada department lunch. Makan grilled salmon, cous cous dan salad. First time makan cous cous. Not bad jgk la rasa dia kan. Aku belasah vegetarian food byk td. Roti dgn mcm2 jenis dip. Hummus, carrot and avocado. Giler aa sedapppp! Roti dia tuh sedap tak ingat. ala2 roti perancis. kenyal2 lembut. kulit garing2 sket. perghh!

Besok ada lab. Memikirkan kena dissect insect, jadi lemah. hahaha. confirm berpinar mata tgk microscope berjam2. Kena siapkan jugak draft poster ni. Byknya keje. cita-cita tinggi nak masuk reserach fest. due date rabu depan. haha. semangat ni. nak hantar poster and research note. mana la tau kot bole menang hadiah. hehehe. weekend ni penuh lak jadual. Skyfire la, perjumpaan dgn MSD la, badminton tournament la. Gambatte!!!!!:-)

Out of the box

Have not been blogging for few days due to emotional breakdown. I am quite emotional person. Used to be very emotional. Through the years, I try to be more rational and get over my sad feelings quickly. Sometimes it works, sometimes don’t. Well, I am just a human.

Last few days I watched Oprah on tv during my lunch break. I love Oprah. She always give me motivation and inspiration to be a better person in this world. Independent, strong, confident, wise and  etc. I guess the talk show really gives impact on me and my life. It is important to have the confident within yourself in order for you to move on, compete with others in this challenging world.

I am not a risk taker and I know my self-confidence is quite low. I know in future I have to be more confident in order for me to teach students in the uni. I am quite scared to think of the huge responsibilities later on. Tutoring is different. Demonstrating is not as serious as teaching. Giving real knowledge to others. A noble thing. I do not want to give my student a wrong information. Apart from that, I am not that strict person.  am quite soft hearted person. I hope my students dont give me a hard time. hehe. I dont like to scold people or be tough. I am quite lenient actually. I might use a lot of psychology to tackle my students. I guess. hehe.

Back to the confidence subject, whenever you feel demotivated or frustated with life, it is good to do something ‘out of the box’ to boost or gain back your confidence. Besides that, you will look at the matter from different perspectives and will be more appreciative and grateful with what you have. For instance, sky diving. It is a risky and scariest thing for most people. You have to trust other people to guide you in order for you to survive the task. And it took a big courage to jump from a plane at 15,000 feet in the air! Most people dont dare to try it. But once you try it, your perspectives will change. You will feel like nothing in this world that you cannot do! Most of the volunteers feel the same way. They feel much more confident with themselves. Feel like a new person just emerged from themselves. Like they have been hiding before this. I think I want to try sky diving one day. Lets just try paragliding first. See whether I can up to the challenge or not. hehe. :p

The truth is sometimes you just get tired with your life. And certain things are so annoying. Most of the things is uncertain. Everything is just not right for you right now. I just feel like I am at the lowest part of my life. You know you have to move on but you just dont know how. The harder you try, the worst it becomes. You don’t want to quit but the pressure is too much to handle. And the decision is not yours to decide. As you are dealing with so many people in your life, things are just too complicated. Let’s pray for a better tomorrow. I just hope that my spirit will keep me going on for a little while. Hang on there dear!

p/s: I might find new activities to challenge myself. Maybe Kickboxing will do.:-)

F4 and Meteor Garden

Semalam tido dekat kul 6 pagi gara-gara melayan cerita Meteor Garden. Aku dah tgk dah dulu. Saja nak tgk lagi mengisi kesunyian di waktu malam. Tv pun takde cerita menarik. Oh, Daoming Si sgt hensem! 🙂 Geram jugak aku dgn si Sanchai ni. Yg kelakar watak mak bapak San Chai. hahaha. Kalau aku jadi San Chai, ntah aku terima ke Daoming Si tu. Dah la hensem, kaya giler pulak tu. Susah nak jaga. Makan ati je sebab pompuan lain dok terkejar jek kan. hehe. Di tgh2 malam yg sunyi aku dok gelak sorang2. San Chai dgn si Ah Si tuh gaduh mcm budak2. Suka cakap “Pen Tan” (a.k.a silly) sesama sendiri. hahaha. Mak bapak San Chai pun everytime keluar sgt lawak dgn mak dia yg cakap suara ala2 itik tercekik. hehehe. comel mak dia. Ala, aku memekak sbb gelak jek. Yg org lain selalu memekak bukak radio dan berparty. Takde aku bising pun. Dah habis dah melayan sampai episod 27. Itu pun setelah 4 malam berturut2 aku tgk dan byk forward part yg bosan. Kul 11 lebih semalam dah nak tido dah babai2 dengan husband and family dekat Skype. Nguap2 jgk aku. konon2 nak melayan meteor garden sambil tetido. Tetiba syok lak. Ari ni tgh hari bgn dgn kepala yg pusing. Nasib baik ari ni cuti. Ni pun patut aku gi lab nak weigh grasshopper. Ujan plak. Sejak balik dari field hari tu setiap hari aku sgt sibuk di lab. Mmg tak balik makan sebab tak sempat. Bawak bekal la hari2.

Bercakap pasal kerja, aku mmg hangin jgk la 2 hari lepas sebab tetiba R.O. yg jaga HPLC facilities tu cakap tak bole nak run sample guna method aku sbb 2 bulan lepas masa Paul email tanya dia dia cakap boleh cuba. Tup2 semalam masa kitaorg nak hantar sample dia kata tak boleh pulak. Mat Saleh cakap mcm keling. Paul pun dah jadi grumpy dah utk pihak aku.haha. Aku lagi la. Sgt irritated. Aku dah la penat2 ekstrak sample dan grasshopper tu bukan senang nak tangkap and dpt. Ikut season. Dia plak buat hal. Nasib baik Paul ada kawan dekat Macquarie Uni. Maybe akan hntr ke sana. Jauh tu nak hntr sample smp ke Sydney.nak buat mcm mana. Aku dah tak punya byk masa. Bulan ni mmg nak kena abiskan segala lab sbb aku nak fokus writing je start Mac ni.

Semalam borak2 smbl wat keje kat lab dgn Paul. Had a nice chat with him. Aku ni dok risau aku tak dpt positive result. Apa aku nak tulis kat thesis kan. Paul ckp dgn aku, dlm thesis takpe kalau kita tak dpt positive result. Kena la tulis kenapa and bg suggestion. Tak semua akan turn out positive. Yg gagal tuh la akan jadi panduan utk researcher lain utk tidak repeat. Yg penting, cara keje aku apply semua ilmu sains yg aku belajar. utk journal paper mmg la takde org bg result negative. Tapi sbb aku amik doctor of philosophy, buat thesis, itu lah salah satu daripada jalan kerjanya. Cuba membuktikan atau menambah atau mencari ilmu/philosophy/teori yg baru. Yg penting basic kena kukuh. dan through the years aku dah boleh develop byk skill and gain byk knowledge dlm bidang ni untuk aku apply in future. Mana ada research takde risk. Sbb itu la kita buat eksperimen yg basic dulu. dan dari result yg kita dpt tu kita kembangkan sbb kita nak lagi tahu detail. Tapi sepjg nak dpt jawapan tu, mesti kita tak dpt direct terus jawapan dia. Trial and error. Sbb takde org penah buat, jadi risiko mst la tinggi. ok la, sedap sikit ati aku bila borak dgn dia semalam. Jadi aku takde la risau sgt kalau ada part yg aku dpt negative result. Yang penting, Chayo!!!!!!! 🙂